Tuesday, January 25, 2011

"B.C." & "A.D." Times have New Meaning


Because...
     In B.C. [Before Children] times:

I just THOUGHT I got overtired and didn't get enough rest.

My memory was better (I never mailed our truck's registration payment back to us).

I could eat chocolate whenever I wanted... didn't have to worry about ruining someone's dinner appetite or worry about the caffeine that would get passed through breast milk and keep someone up AWAKE when they needed to sleep.

I could eat on the run & didn't have to plan ahead meal/food-wise.

I could go on vacations on a whim.

I didn't have to clean throw-up, unless it came from something that barked or meowed.

I didn't need to worry about college funds.

I didn't need to be concerned of our whereabouts when it came to hanky-panky.

I could turn the TV up while watching a movie in the evening and not worry about waking little beings.

I could eat in the living room.

I could poop in peace EVERY time.

I could stay outside when the summer sun subsided into the horizon and get just ONE MORE thing done outside while it was so nice.

I could get on the computer and not be interrupted by ??? who knows what (by the way, this post has already taken several short trips over a few weeks to get this far).

No one asked me to scratch their 'bottom hole'.

I didn't need to be concerned about media influences (I could watch what I wanted all the time).

I could have cookies for breakfast.

I COULD SLEEP IN.

     In A.D. [After Delivery] times:

I learned that a human could sleep sitting straight up all the while loud banging, in the same room, persisted via a 4 y/o and a baby's teeth created an indentation on one's nipple.

I learned that all the little splatters of strawberry laden throw-up are easier to spot because the bright red made it stand out on the carpet when one is half asleep in the middle of the night trying to clean it up.

I learned that even though I breast fed for 14 months before, one still have to go through the bite the bullet stage at around 2 to 4 weeks post delivery because your nipple hurts like a mother when your baby latches on.

I realized what it really means to be anal-retentive ... one literally has to be (anal-retentive) with a hungry screaming baby and/or crying preschooler all wrapped in a whirlwind of ...oh, I forgot to feed the dog (point is: sometimes one has to hold their poop when you have children). Hey, it's true.

I realized that you feel better when you don't have cookies for breakfast.

I learned that letting your child stand her last plastic horse up in the 'corral' can make the difference between the next 25 minutes being smooth going to bed or not.

I learned that children do come hard hard-wired to a large extent... and you can tell this at 6 months (actually earlier).

I realized how much my parents did ...and at a MUCH younger age... and made it work.

I learned that sometimes all it takes is a kiss to make the whole world seem better.

I found that I just thought I worried about important things.

I realized how truly important the Little Things are.

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