Sunday, May 8, 2016

A Re-Dedication to the Woman in My Life that Showed me Love Unfettered

I haven't been on this blog for ?? eons as Life has been/is happening instead (as it should be).  I'm not a 'facebooker' for the same reason.  Albeit, I have an account so I can look at my daughter's class's Facebook page from school.  In that way, I do 'look around' sometimes... and then find, entirely too much time has escaped me :-~ ...hence my reason for not being a real facebooker.

Much has happened in Life since my last posting.  This coming July, my children are coming on 10 and 6 1/2.  Also, right before Christmas, my husband lost his job of almost 15 years.  He was laid off -and yes, he was in Oil & Gas.  Had a good job.  But, it wasn't just the economy... new higher up from another company came in and, subsequently, starting infiltrating with his own (husband's boss was told to retire 1 month before my husband was laid off) ...ANYway, now is mostly being told that he's 'overqualified'.  He has 10 patents to his name, managed the entire engineering group in Houston (for an international co.), and became their Global Eng. trainer.

So many changes ... including a 'Mom' change... no, I didn't get a new mom.  But, she.. my mom, had a change... no, she'd already done the menopause thing... not that change, she had a 'health' change in that she was diagnosed with PF- 'Pulmonary Fibrosis' last Novemeber.  It's a terminal, degenerative lung disease that progressively disables the lungs from being able to transfer oxygen to the bloodstream.  She coughs a lot and is on oxygen.... basically, it sucks.  We don't know how long she has, but suffice to say, she won't be around for many of my kids' milestones (graduation, getting married, etc.)... maybe she'll make my daughter starting her period  :-~  ... is that a 'milestone'?? 

So I didn't get my mom any 'thing' for Mother's Day.... shoot, she's giving things away.  But, I figured I'd re-dedicate a post to her from my blog.  Seeing as I'm planning to get the blog put into book form sometime, I figured I'd end it on a word on mom... since that's where the writing gene came from and all.  Not so incidentally, my mom just published a book that she's been working on for decades, literally.  She was a Hospice Nurse and it is a book of inspirational stories about her patients.  It is called "Chapters of Goodbye" by Sandra Cooper Allan.  No, it's not on Amazon, but if someone was interested, they might be able to find her through Facebook since she is on there.

Where to go from here?  ...just am hoping for as many memories as possible to be made.
Thanks mom, for being who you are and bestowing that unconditional love upon me.
L,J


A re-dedication to my mom: 

Happy Mom's Day, Mom
 
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My mom had it rough growing up.

This is my mom when I was not quite 3 y/o.
I'm sure there are those out there that had it rougher. But, let me tell you, there are SO many that can't imagine how she had it. And be glad for that if you, like me, are in that large group.

The early days- my mom is 27 y/o here (my older brother and I were 6 & 4 at the time).
I've heard tidbits over time... gees, for that matter, the bare facts are enough to make me shrivel up and want to go hide: one brother five years older, then she (my mom) arrived into the world, then another brother 3 years younger arrived. Just three months after the younger brother was born, the already absent father left and her parents divorced. Mix this with her mother being an alcoholic and emotionally/mentally unstable. A year or two later, add a remarriage of the alcoholic unstable mother to 'God Knows What' that abused my mom (and her mother). Around the time my mom was 5, she began to live with her blind grandmother (since the step dad was abusive and an alcoholic). BUT, they lived right next to each other in like a duplex that sat on top of one another... so only a stair-way separated them. Subsequently, at my mom's age of 7 or 8, this 'step dad' hung himself. Shortly afterwards, my mom went back to live with her mother.

Just about every summer, as I was growing up, we went to Colorado. We camped and often rode motorcycles.
So, from the time my mom was 5 years old, she *living with her blind grandmother* had to do household chores that I just can't see a 5 year old doing; fixing meals, dishes, ironing, etc... at five years old. Yes, it was by far the better choice than living with her mother and the abusive husband. But... gees... being so responsible at five... for that matter 8 years old... hard to fathom.

My mom on the Durango/Silverton Train in Colorado.
It's no wonder my mom became a nurse. You know, research shows that 80+ % of nurses come from alcoholic/abusive families ...interesting, they couldn't "fix it" when they were young, so they go into a field that tries to "fix" and becomes the bearer of the brunt of things... cause that's what nurses do.

POINT IS... my mom had it rough ...and, I assure you, this is only a sweet summary. My mom forgave her mother before she passed- told in my mom's words HERE. What a forgiving woman my mom is... she saw her mother for the wounded child she was.

Another thing, she (my mom) didn't repeat the cycle by getting with an abusive man. My dad has never laid a hand on my mom, nor has he ever been verbally abusive (talk about beating the odds ... kudos to my dad on this as well!). They've been married now for almost 44 years.
You know, I asked my mom what she was okay with me 'sharing'... her response was just to do what I thought was okay. I then asked myself what my aim was after all. After much consternation, the two thoughts that came to mind were:
  • First, when one sees things about themselves in writing, somehow it's more real... it's like it holds more credence... if this makes sense. In that regard, it is my hope that maybe my mom can appreciate herself more and be more forgiving of herself in how she raised her children. She, after all, did a remarkable job.
  • Second, who knows if her (my mom's) children's children (and theirs?) will someday read this. With technology and all (these blogs can be saved), it's like a history of sorts. I know I appreciate stories of my family's hardships. Makes one appreciate their own lot better.
Those are my reasons for 'sharing'.
Before I started typing the above, I had saved a post with a few short poems and sayings to post on Mom's Day. The text is still below. Though this post is lengthy, I'll go ahead and leave it... because the poets say it better than I can and I want my mom to hear it. Plus, the home video is kind of ? ... ? neat.

******************previously typed below*******************

I found so much good stuff searching for the *ultimate* Mom's Day poem. Alas, no one poem can summarize what a Mom is, does, gives, transmits, translates ....etc, etc... So many of them connotate so many different things. I figure a sundry of things just might touch the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

I use the term, "Mom", because that is what I call my dear one. For me, the term 'Mother' was not the name/word of choice. We all have symbolic meanings attached to things and, for me, that term isn't warm and fuzzy (perhaps it's because I remember my mom calling her alcoholic mom, "Mothhher"). Regardless, for me, it doesn't convey my feeling... so "Mom" it is. Consequently, since I was young, I have always put a line through the word 'Mother' on cards and whatnot and rewritten "Mom" over it.

On the poems below, I have included the authors names whenever I knew them. Please send a comment if you happen to know the author of any poem whose author is listed as unknown. And don't forget to turn you speakers on for the video.

************************************************

Untitled

There are times when only a Mother's love
Can share the joy we feel.
When something we've dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real.

There are times when only a Mother's faith
Can help us on life's way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day.

For a Mother's heart and a Mother's faith
And a Mother's steadfast love
Were fashioned by the Angels
And sent from God above.

~Author Unknown

Mother o' Mine

If I were hanged on the highest hill,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
I know whose love would follow me still,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

If I were drowned in the deepest sea,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
I know whose tears would come down to me,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

If I were damned of body and soul,
I know whose prayers would make me whole,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

~Rudyard Kipling

Wonderful Mother

God made a wonderful mother,
A mother who never grows old;
He made her smile of the sunshine,
And He moulded her heart of pure gold;
In her eyes He placed bright shining stars,
In her cheeks fair roses you see;
God made a wonderful mother,
And He gave that dear mother to me.

~Pat O'Reilly


To My Mother
You too, my mother, read my rhymes
For love of unforgotten times,
And you may chance to hear once more
The little feet along the floor.


~Robert Louis Stevenson

This heart, my own dear mother, bends,
With love's true instinct, back to thee!

~Thomas Moore

And a couple of "Tru'isms"...
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
~Sophia Loren

We never know the love of the parent until we become parents ourselves.
~Henry Ward Beecher


**************************************************
So, we (my family) have our three generations pics; my mom, my daughter, and I. My maternal grandmother passed before our daughter was born. However, in a small way, she still can hear her...

(For book purposes: the video that was/is posted is one of Emma sitting in, what is now, Clayton's closet that was full of stuff... including a talking picture frame that had Grandma's mom recorded on it saying 'I love you'.)

video
I am more blessed than words can say.

My cup runneth over.

HAPPY MOM'S DAY TO YOU!

LYM

Saturday, May 11, 2013

On to Greener Pastures
Julieboo
(Rampions Amira)
 
Feb. 5th, 1980 ~ May 6th, 2013 
 
I got Julieboo after my first horse (of only 10 months), 'Bunnie', died.  Julie was a 2 y/o filly in the same public barn where we kept Bunnie.  The lady that owned her was selling her at the time of Bunnie's death.  So, Julieboo was offered as a gift.  But my dad made sure the gift was compensated... little did I know.  I was 13 y/o at the time.

 
That's one scraggly-headed kid on that pretty mare.
Julieboo had her spunk for sure, but the scraggly kid managed to shape it somehow into a very nice western pleasure horse.... she was a natural, though, all on her own.


Dandy on Julieboo w/ a protective pad under the blanket.  Julieboo had many "tricks up her sleeve".

The last third of her life was spent on our property where I could see her every day.  I'm glad that I was able to give her a nice 'retirement'.  She deserved it.

Julieboo on her pasture of retirement.
She had sweet eyes.

I'm so glad that my kids got to know the ole' grey mare.
E & C on their last ride (didn't know it at the time- though I suspected the time would be soon).

I had been increasing her feed for about 2 years prior to her death- it was then that she started becoming a bit harder to keep.
Several months prior to her death, I had to really start pouring it to her.  But, no amount "would stick" to her ribs.  I gave her so much, I worried I'd colic her.  She just wasn't assimilating it like she needed.


This pic was taken 2 weeks & 1 day before the ole mare just couldn't get up... and the 'decision' was made.


She is buried over on the far right -in this pic- in our big pasture.
She will be missed.
Not many -truly- 'bomb-proof' horses are out there like her.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Loves of my life...


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The Wisdom of Thomas Sowell










There is nothing so bad that politics cannot make it worse.

It is amazing how many people think that they can answer an argument by attributing bad motives to those who disagree with them. Using this kind of reasoning, you can believe or not believe anything about anything, without having to bother to deal with facts or logic.

It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong.


If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labeled a radical 50 years ago, a liberal 25 years ago, and a racist today.

What “multiculturalism” boils down to is that you can praise any culture in the world except Western culture—and you cannot blame any culture in the world except Western culture.

Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore or evade it.

One of the sad signs of our times is that we have demonized those who produce, subsidized those who refuse to produce, and canonized those who complain.

The welfare state is the oldest con game in the world. First you take people's money away quietly, and then you give some of it back to them flamboyantly.

Mystical references to "society" and its programs to "help" may warm the hearts of the gullible, but what it really means is putting more power in the hands of bureaucrats.

If you have ever seen a four-year-old trying to lord it over a two-year-old, then you know what the basic problem of human nature is - and why government keeps growing larger and ever more intrusive.

Liberals seem to assume that, if you don't believe in their particular political solutions, then you don't really care about the people that they claim to want to help.

If you have been voting for politicians who promise to give you goodies at someone else's expense, then you have no right to complain when they take your money and give it to someone else, including themselves.

The essence of bigotry is denying other people the same free choices you have. Many of those who call themselves environmentalists could more accurately be called green bigots.

Liberals love to say things like, "We're just asking everyone to pay their fair share." But government is not about asking. It is about telling. The difference is fundamental. It is the difference between making love and being raped, between working for a living and being a slave. The Internal Revenue service is not asking anybody to do anything. It confiscates your assets and puts you behind bars if you don't pay.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

We fly you in distress BECAUSE we have respect for you...

....and believe this great United States has been stressed enough with the last four years of bureaucracy that is actively eroding the very ways that made this country so great to begin with.
And now, four MORE years (!?!) from an incompetent, elitist, arrogant, narcissistic, haughty, demagogue that has less business being in the White House than someone that has            (list his "credentials" in the preceding blank).
With all of the evidence of previous maleficence, I am in utter disbelief on this Election day evening.
All with concern for my children & children's children,
Bz

p.s. We flew you this way only on the day following the election of such a traitor of the American way.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

UPDATE to Previous Post: Missing Alert

The toothpaste was found!  We were all in the living room when Mr. C. reached behind the big television where all of the cords and wires live and at about the same time as I told him to get back from there, he pulled his hand back with a tube of toothpaste in it... not open, squeezed or smooshed ... thank goodness!
One tube down found.
One to go find.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

MISSING Alert:

It has now been discovered that a SECOND tube of toothpaste is missing.


This is the second one in less than a week.  There are no signs of forced entry, nor is any part of the home left in a disarray (no more than the normal disarray that occurs with a 5 y/o & 2 y/o).

There are no clues as to the whereabouts, but we feel quite certain that a "person of interest" (mugshot below) may know the whereabouts.
Should we learn the whereabouts, our teeth will be happier... as will the parents of the 'person of interest' because then their fears shall be allayed in wondering if these tubes have been expelled in some remote part of the home only to be discovered dry and glue-caked into ... who knows what!?!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Standing Proud...

Sunday, April 1, 2012

April is here with all the fun & the latest happenings...


Starting the day with a little iPad puzzle.


Then play with the pup.

See the beautiful contrasting colors?


While Miss E makes a "nest" in the background, Mr. C decides to soak in the pup's water bucket, clothes and all.
This was after he bent over and dunked the top of his head in.

Bark mulch is NOT a regular part of his diet.


Momma affording Mr. C some privacy.

Three sweet fellas; although one of them has dined on horse truffles more than we care. His tongue looks clean here though.

Miss E's nest is complete!

Booger, the cat: "Are you going to hurry up and finish the rose garden so I can take a nap in it?"
Amazing how cat's pupils can narrow to such little slits.

The rose garden complete.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Sighhh... He Can Now Work Doorknobs

But he's ohh so cute!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Who's the Moron that...

....invented folding clothes?


[Asked aloud by my dear husband.  To which I answered, 'I don't know, but it's stupid.']

Monday, March 12, 2012

Which Austen Heroine are you?


Well, I took the quiz and it says that I am:
 
You are Elinor Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility! You are practical, circumspect, and discreet. Though you are tremendously sensible and allow your head to rule, you have a deep, emotional side that few people often see.




Truth be told ... as is the way of my character, I've not read/seen any of the Austen liertature.
I hear it's good.  I would like to read some someday.
WHY did I take it then... b/c SOME day I may read it.

If you want to take the quiz, click here:

http://www.strangegirl.com/emma/quiz.php

Friday, February 3, 2012

What a Noble Lad he is...

"Laddy" at 7 months & 80 lbs

Friday, January 20, 2012

Mr. C turns TWO! ...and gets a haircut the next day

Restraining underway


C LOVES trains.
[Thanks 'GRRRrandPA' (grandma) for the cake.]

Mmmmm...

More Mmmmm!

Who DOESN'T love cake & ice cream?!?

So grown up from one day to the next.

Cute from the back too!




Monday, December 26, 2011

A Little Bit O' Christmas 2011

It was great seeing Santa!


A right, cute, jolly little boy.

A baker deluxe- did her own Christmas Tree Cake.

The big one of our Christmas trees.

Our blessings -not in disguise here :-)

Sunday, December 18, 2011

All Boy / All Girl:


...and both sooo cute.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Smuge-ster

aka:  Smudge, Smudgie, Smudge-puppy, Smudge-pie
March 7, 2005 - Nov. 16th, 2011














 
One of the sweetest.
I saw her come into the world ...and saw her go out.
No words...